


tumblr dump Irondad and misc Peter posts

by Lurafita



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Fun, I wanted a backup in case tumblr deletes my blog, Mostly IronDad, Multi, Short, This is not a story, about platonic relationships with Peter, and spiderson, apparently that has been happening a lot lately, boy am I misusing the tag system, seriously, this is where I'm gonna dump all my tumblr posts, you can browse through it if you want though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2020-11-02 08:37:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 13,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20686559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lurafita/pseuds/Lurafita
Summary: Because I have been hearing from many users that tumblr has been deleting blogs, I want to save my posts away here. This is where I will be updating any tumblr posts that have IronDad content or other platonic things with Peter. They are mostly short little snippets. I don't expect comments, to be honest, but I am also not at all opposed to them. :-)





	1. Chapter 1

## Fair warning, this text mentions Starker, as in a sexual, romantic relationship. This is just an overall introduction to what kind of content one can expect from my tumblr, but I don't go into any details here. Following posts/chapters, will not have Starker content.

Anyone familiar with my 'Busting cliches' fanfic series, will likely find some familiar content here, as I have used paragraphs from this post in the notes section of several fics.

##  [Rant time](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/182635246194/rant-time)

Very short introduction. I’m an adult woman and I have loved Spiderman/Peter Parker pretty much since I was a kid borrowing (stealing) my older cousins comics. 

While I’m not exactly new to Tumblr, I have just recently decided to actively use and possibly post on this platform, and it’s probably gonna take some time getting the hang of it.

I am highly, and sometimes even incorrigibly, biased when it comes to my favourite characters. While I like other characters of the Marvel Universe well enough (some more, some less) in the end I don’t really care about the others as long as Peter is happy. (Though he wouldn’t be happy if everyone else is miserable or dead, so, yeah.)

I can ship Peter with pretty much anyone in a romantic/sexual relationship, (yes, even Tony), but I’m not a fan of big age gaps. It’s not even because pairings where one could be the parent of the other kinda wigs me out (though they do a little), it’s more about the fact that I’m a bit of a romantic. I want my pairings to be happily together for as long as possible. If two people are lucky enough to live out the natural span of their lifetime, then that means that the younger person (in this case Peter), will have to live the number of years that seperate them in age, without his partner. Take the popular pairing Starker for example. Lets say Tony manages to not get killed until he dies of old age at like, lets say 95. Peter would only be around 60 years old then. Which means he will have to live out the rest of his live, which may very well still be 30 to 40 years, without the love of his life. And if that number is 5, or 10, or even 15 years, that’s seems to me more bearable than if it is 20, or 30 or more years.

Which is why, if I do post a Starker fic here, their ages will be closer together than they are portrayed in the MCU. (In some comic universes, the age difference between the two wasn’t that significant)

I like Irondad and Spiderson as well as Superfamily in fanfiction. I like when the Avengers are shown as loving and protective of Peter. However I don’t like how much Peter/Spiderman is ‘noobed’ down in many fanfics though.   
I get it. Peter is the youngest with the least experience. Yes, he needs training, yes, he needs guidance, but sometimes I get the feeling that people forget or ignore how very formidable of a hero Spiderman can be. 

Please keep in mind that I’m including comic facts in the following:

For example, Peter is physically stronger than most of the Avengers, with the exception of Thor and Bruce.   
He is also incredibly durable.   
His senses are the highest of all the Avengers.   
He is inhumanly flexible, meaning he can move and bend and react in ways the others are simply not capable of.   
He can stick to any surface, unless that surface is wet.   
He has a sixth sense (spidey-sense) that makes it possible for him to dodge a bullet at gun point. (in the comics even the fire of a machinegun)  
His healing factor is acutally better than Steve’s, as it also grants resistance (and in some cases immunity) to some illnesses and even poisonous substances.  
His webbing is as strong as steel cable, and people that aren’t at least at his level of strenghts, shouldn’t be able to just rip it apart.  
He is smart and knows how to think outside the box. In fact this level of thinking has saved the day more than once, when people like Tony Stark or Reed Richards were stumped. 

I have read so many fics where Peter is trained by Natasha or Clint or Steve and they regularly wipe the floor with him, and I just can’t wrap my head around this.   
Again, I get it, experience is a great thing and it certainly can turn an otherwise hopeless battle in your favour, but it is not an almighty tool. And how exactly is Peter even supposed to learn anything, when he has to hold back so much against his much weaker, very breakable Teammates? (like seriously, if he were to throw a real punch, he would break their bones)  
Of course Peter needs to learn to control his strenght and defend and attack without causing too much harm to his opponent, but that should come AFTER he had the chance to really use and get a feeling for his powers and their limits. In my opinion, considering Peter’s very impressive skill set, Thor would actually be the best training partner for him. He is a few thousand years old and has more than enough experience when it comes to fighting. He is sturdy enough to withstand Peter letting loose on him, without the Spiderling having to fret about causing permanent damage.   
Then, after Peter has had the chance to really familiarize himself with his fighting prowess and knows how much he needs to pull his punches without loosing his ground by holding back too much, THEN the others can actually teach him some techniques and strategies that he will actually be able to implement into his fighting style.   
And then there are the instances I have read, (again, way too many instances in my opinion) where the others tell Peter to not depend on his spider-sense so much in a fight. I mean I understand where this kind of thinking is coming from, but how exactly is this even supposed to work? It’s not like he can turn it off. If in a fight, or sparring match, Peter is not supposed to depend on his spidey-sense, which is omni-present, and his spidey-sense is telling him to dodge, but he is not supposed to depend on it, that only leaves the option of ignoring it. So he needs to ignore/supress the urge to dodge, while being expected to dodge by his sparring partner/trainer. How is that even possible?   
In fact, every time in the comics that Peter ignored his spidey-sense, was when he got (sometimes badly) hurt. That is just not the way to teach someone how to fight. And it always, ALWAYS gets me so irrationally upset when I read this. 

Sorry, that was a lot of frustration I needed to vent, it seems. 

Another thing I have come across quite a lot in fics, and that I absolutely hate, is when Peter is punished for something by taking away Spiderman.

Spiderman isn’t a hobby, and shouldn’t be treated like one. 

Look, if Peter gets hurt, is injured, sick, exhausted, etc. Definitely bench him. Definitely make sure he gets the rest he needs and is at 100%, before letting him get out and fight again.   
But disallowing him to actively help people in need, making him sit back and stay away, because maybe he broke curfew, or his latest test came back with a not so great grade, that (to me) seems to trivialize everything that Peter does as Spiderman. Its not like he goes out there to just swing around high buildings and have fun, he saves people’s lives. He jumps into burning buildings to pull out kids stuck on a high floor. He webs up armed muggers who might otherwise have badly hurt their victims. He has saved people from being raped late at night, just as he has helped lost children find their parents. To Peter, and to the people he has helped, the work he does is important. Witholding Spiderman as a punishment seems nothing less than cruel to me.   
Can’t you just imagine Peter sitting in a corner of his room, hyperventilating and fighting off an anxiety attack, because his mind is making him imagine all the people currently in danger because he is not allowed out as Spiderman?

Like I said, if Peter is in need of a break due to injury,or sickness, or exhaustion, absolutely make him take a night (or more) off. If it becomes apparent that his social life or his grades are suffering due to Spiderman, make him shorten his patrols, make Tony or any of the other Avengers offer to cover some parts of the city for him. But just don’t treat his activities and responsibilities as Spiderman like it doesn’t matter. Like some hobby that can be taken away as punishment for bad behaviour.

Okay, that was quite a bit for a first post. I feel like I should apologize for ranting so much, but I just felt the need to. I hope some people read and comment on this, cause I would really like some other opinions (agree, disagree and so on). 

Thank everyone who took the time to read this for having done so, and I hope I will soon post other Spiderman related things here. And learn how to better use tumblr in time.


	2. Chapter 2

Parenting fail

Clint: *looses in Mario Cart* “Shit!”

Tony: *from the kitchen* “Would you watch your goddamn language in front of the fucking child before his unusually hot aunt cuts off my fucking dick!!!”

Peter: ☼.☼


	3. Chapter 3

Peter: “Huh. Sorry Mr. Vision. Looks like we can’t make you an Account after all.”

Vision: “…. that’s racist ”


	4. Chapter 4

##  [Cursing, but not.](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/182660010884/cursing-but-not)

I could totally see Peter thinking along the lines “It’s only swearing if you use swear-words.”

So he just goes around saying ‘French fries’ instead of ‘Fuck’   
and ‘Skittles’ instead of ‘Shit’  
and ‘Donuts’ instead of ‘Damn’  
  


And Steve is like: “Langu-… no, wait.”  
And Tony is like: “I don’t know if I’m supposed to be proud, shocked, or hungry.” 


	5. Chapter 5

##  [How to (not) distract Tony Stark](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/182661364994/how-to-not-distract-tony-stark)

Peter, coming into room: "Hey Mr. Stark."

  
Tony, looking up from his StarkPad: "Hey ki- WTF, IS THAT A BLACK EYE?!"

  
Peter, panicking and pointing somewhere behind Tony: "A DISTRACTION!"

  
Tony looks behind himself: "What?"

  
Peter, shocked: "I can't believe that worked."

  
Tony, turning back around: "You forgot to run away, dumbass."

  
Peter: "Ah Sh**"


	6. Chapter 6

##  [It’s not lying!](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/182678558129/its-not-lying)

So, everyone and their mother knows that Peter Parker is a bad liar. And after what is probably the 15th disasterous try at telling a convincing lie, even oblivious, little, cinnamon roll Peter becomes aware of that himself. 

So he doesn’t even try to lie anymore. After all, there are other ways to hide the truth.

_*Peter hiding a pet at the tower or compound*_

**Tony, suspicious: **“Kid. Did you bring a dog into the house?”  
**Peter, not lying: **“I did not.” Because it’s a cat.

_*On a mission, after an explosion, over the comms*_

**Cap**: “Anyone hurt?”  
**Peter, bleeding from a wound in his upper leg, still taking down Hydra agents**: “I’ve had worse.” Not a lie, he died once, that was worse. “I can finish off my sector.” Not a lie, because he can, he just maybe looses a bit more blood than anyone is comfortable with (Tony about to hyperventilate in a corner) 

_*Aunt May eying the dark circles under his eyes worriedly*_

**May**: “Peter, did you sleep last night?”  
**Peter, sighing dreamily:** “I did. It was glorious.” Not a lie, the two hours he caught after coming back from a patrol that ran a bit too late, truly were glorious.

It works well for him, until the others catch on and learn to ask annoyingly specific questions.


	7. Chapter 7

##  [The Talk](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/182702643154/the-talk)

Avengers lounging around the common room.

  
Suddenly Peter runs through, shedding his clothes while pulling on his Spiderman suit, "Fri, open the window!" and jumps out.

  
Steve, worried: "Is there trouble? Should we suit up and go after him?"

  
Clint, falling out of the vent, laughing his ass off: "Don't worry. Kid's just running from Stark."

  
Natasha, mommabear instincts awakening: "Why?"

  
Cling, still snickering: "Tony was trying to give him 'The Talk'."


	8. Chapter 8

It is entirely possible that I have simply spent too much time on tumblr. But try convincing me that this is not Tony Stark as a cat!  
Now I need a Peter cat and have the two cuddle together.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That post wasn't actually started by me, but I loved it and reblogged and commented on it.

**[mishaberryreblogs](https://mishaberryreblogs.tumblr.com/)** asked:

I think one of the things that made me love ASM more than any of the others, it was Peter’s actual arc. He starts being Spider-Man because he’s out for revenge, then he gets that thrown in his face by Cap. Stacy, and just after that is the bridge scene where he figures out that he can help *others* with his powers. He’s not good because he’s a cinnamon roll (*coughMCU*), he had to decide to be a hero. I think making him angry (like 616) is a really big part of that as well. I love these movies

**[traincat](https://traincat.tumblr.com/post/182754177469/i-think-one-of-the-things-that-made-me-love-asm)** answered:

Me too! I love that they take the time in the first movie to really establish Peter’s evolution as Spider-Man, and also how much groundwork they lay for his relationship with Uncle Ben, both the good and the bad, and that they let that relationship be imperfect leading up to Ben’s death. It’s easy to kind of crystallize them as this idyllic father-son relationship, because that’s what most comics canon does (and because Ben has extremely limited page time in Amazing Fantasy #15), so I like that TASM took the time to kind of make it a little more multilayered. The movie’s at the 45 minute mark before Ben dies, and I love that it takes that much time to establish everything – I know people always say they’re sick of watching Uncle Ben die, and maybe some people mean it, but the circumstances of Ben’s death so much inform how Peter evolves as a crimefighter (Spider-Man Noir!) and TASM absolutely got that. I don’t think you have to take 45 minutes to kill Uncle Ben. I don’t even think you necessarily have to do it onscreen – neither Spider-Verse nor Spider-Man PS4 did, but they did both take the time to establish how important Ben was to Peter, and I don’t think you can tell a Peter Spider-Man story without that acknowledgement. That said, I do appreciate TASM doing an origin story and putting so much time and attention to detail into the origin.

And I also love that he doesn’t just start superheroing flatout after Ben’s death – it’s not as easy as suffering that loss and then realizing that with great power comes great responsibility on that night. That you see his methods evolve as he creates his costume and his finished look as Spider-Man is a fantastic touch. Going from searching for Ben’s killer and then leaving the scene as soon as he confirms whoever he’s hunting isn’t him, to leaving the criminals webbed up and delivered to the cops, to abandoning his quest for revenge after realizing what he can do and what Spider-Man can do for other people, and not just himself, that night on the bridge. I love the dinner scene at the Stacy’s apartment for a number of reasons – one is that it really highlights the economic distance between Peter and Gwen without outright stating it (the concept of dressing for dinner, and then there’s the fact that the Stacy apartment, if you know anything about New York real estate, is clearly a _massively_ expensive home), and another is that on top of Peter being that guy who comes over to meet your family for the first time and immediately gets into a political argument with your dad, an incredibly Peter Parker thing to do, while Peter has points, George Stacy does too – Spider-Man is, up until that night, operating with a specific agenda and that specific agenda is about vengeance, so it’s still selfish. It’s not yet him using his great power for the greater responsibility. And then you get to see that change that night on the bridge when he rescues the little boy, and that leads to one of my favorite exchanges in the film, with Peter and Gwen on the bleachers and Peter saying he has to go after the Lizard and Gwen saying that’s not his job and him just smiling and saying, “Maybe it is.”

I totally love these movies.

[lurafita (this is my part)](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/182755961874/i-think-one-of-the-things-that-made-me-love-asm)

I love the Amazing Spiderman movies. The only thing that was wrong with them is that they made it pretty clear that this universe didn’t have any other Superheroes like the Avengers or Shield. And fans were desperate to see Spiderman in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, I also understand why they made the films that way. Spiderman was one of the earlier Superhero comics, before the universes got merged together. His origin story was one without the previous influence of other supernatural forces. It was a huge part to the reason why Spiderman wasn’t easily accepted by the people of New York. He was something new, something strange. And humans have an extensive history of fearing what they don’t understand. This is why Spiderman had so many haters in the beginning, so much bad press. Why he got yelled at and looked down upon, why the police was trying to catch or kill him early on. What, to me, has always made Spiderman the best hero, is that despite all this, he kept on doing it. Yes, at first his reasons for using his powers were selfish, but the emotional journey he had to go through, the fact that he even came out on the other side of this all with the desire, the will, to do good with them, that was his own achievement. He didn’t mimick other, already existing, Superheroes.

And even though he might have been inspired by his uncles words, the realisation what they mean, the drive to become who he was, that was all himself. And to keep on doing this, while the very people you help, the people you risk yourself for to save, aren’t the least bit grateful to you, that requires a strenght of character and will that I have seen in no one else as much and as clearly, as I have seen it in Peter Parker. And this as well was very well portrayed in the Amazing Spiderman movies.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is not from me, sadly. I take absolutely no credit for it. But I love it and I need it in my life.

[ ](https://taylortut.tumblr.com/post/174455755163)

[taylortut](https://taylortut.tumblr.com/post/174455755163)

peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols

“hey FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there”

“Old Man Bifocals protocol activated, Boss”

“what the fuck did you just say to me”

[ ](https://taylortut.tumblr.com/post/174455793778)

[taylortut](https://taylortut.tumblr.com/post/174455793778)

“FRIDAY alert the team that my thrusters are down and i can’t fly”

“sure thing, activating I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up Protocol”

“PETER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”

[ ](https://spider-man-stan.tumblr.com/post/174456292906)

[spider-man-stan](https://spider-man-stan.tumblr.com/post/174456292906)

Tony: FRIDAY, open these encrypted files we don’t have a lot of time-

FRIDAY: activating the Fr E Sh A Voca Do protocol

Tony, sobbing: PETER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES THIS MEAN 

[ ](https://taylortut.tumblr.com/post/174456830918)

[taylortut](https://taylortut.tumblr.com/post/174456830918)

AMAZING

[ ](https://bluesocksandfluff.tumblr.com/post/174457570815)

[bluesocksandfluff](https://bluesocksandfluff.tumblr.com/post/174457570815)

-Peter gets hurt in a battle-  
  
FRIDAY: _Bone Hurting Juice_ Protocol has been activated - Mr. Parker is in distress.  
  
Tony: -stops- He’s what? The _what?_  
  
Peter: -over the com- Oof, ouch… my bones…

[ ](https://indigowallbreaker.tumblr.com/post/174458355742)

[indigowallbreaker](https://indigowallbreaker.tumblr.com/post/174458355742)

Tony: FRIDAY! Engage autopilot!

FRIDAY: Activating _Jesus Take The Wheel_ protocol.

Tony: Really, Pete?

iron-legion-cyborg

Jdjsjsjsks

[ ](https://nightskyblufaith.tumblr.com/post/174494477509)

[nightskyblufaith](https://nightskyblufaith.tumblr.com/post/174494477509)

Tony: Where in the world is that kid??..FRIDAY!! Activate Peter’s GPS

FRIDAY: Activating

## “ Helicopter parent protocol”

Tony: *sighs*….why do I even bother

[ ](https://marvel-lous-things.tumblr.com/post/174494859536)

[marvel-lous-things](https://marvel-lous-things.tumblr.com/post/174494859536)

Tony: FRIDAY divert all energy to thrusters

FRIDAY: nyOOOOOooOOoM protocol activated

[ ](https://firstaidquarters.tumblr.com/post/174505307596)

[firstaidquarters](https://firstaidquarters.tumblr.com/post/174505307596)

i literally can’t breathe from this

[ ](https://piwiskiwi.tumblr.com/post/174507102421)

[piwiskiwi](https://piwiskiwi.tumblr.com/post/174507102421)

Go d

[ ](https://thejamesbondwannabe.tumblr.com/post/174508750415)

[thejamesbondwannabe](https://thejamesbondwannabe.tumblr.com/post/174508750415)

**Tony, in front of team**: FRIDAY activate the electric taze blast

**Friday**: Activating ‘Wanna Be Thor’ protocol

**Thor**: *triumphantly laughs*

**Tony,mumbling**: Now the boys’ gone too far.


	11. Chapter 11

# Team Spiderman

The discussion (verbal fights), about which Team was right and which Team you personally supported in Civil War is pretty much everywhere, but especially here on Tumblr. 

It is only natural that we form attatchments to certain people, and sometimes those people are fictional. Doesn’t make our feelings for them any less genuine. So I can understand how many people will argue away, or simply ingnore, when this particular character makes a mistake. When there are flaws. 

Everyone is a little biased. And that’s okay. I’ts fine to be passionate about something. It’s fine to let yourself be swept away in your feelings and opinions sometimes. 

It’s not okay anymore, though, when you use those opinions and feelings as an excuse to attack other people. 

“Team Ironman, because Tony is the best and he only wanted what was the best.”

“No, he is a selfish asshole who wouldn’t know what responisbility is if it bit him on the ass and you are a stupid bitch!”

“Team Cap, because Steve is the best and he was only trying to protect his friends.”

“No, his actions were completely selfish, he was only interested in protecting Bucky and he didn’t care about taking responsibility for his actions, you moronic cunt!”

I for one am tired of reading the same old, growing more and more poisonous, ‘whose fault was it’, screaming matches. 

Again, it’s fine to have your own opinion, it’s fine to try to make your reasonings be heard, it’s fine to defend the characters you have grown to love. But why not do it _**without**_ attacking everyone who sees things a little differently? 

Apart from the heated debates that the movie has unleashed, there were a lot of things that I didn’t like in it.

As stated in a previous post, I am a hardcore Spiderman fan. I am and always will be incredibly biased in favour of Peter Parker. And Civil War made me angry at every. single. Avenger.

I hated that Tony Stark met a 14 years old Peter Parker and **didn’t** say: “Yeah, no, I am NOT taking a child into a situation that will most likely escalate (because let’s be honest here, we are all morons) and endanger him in a fight against incredibly experienced, (some of them) superpowered, people But here is a new, better equipped suit that will keep you way safer than your pyjamas and when I’m back we will see what we can do in terms of training.”

I hated that Steve Rogers talked to Spiderman during their fight, must have realized that this person doesn’t have all the facts, isn’t in fact their enemy, is clearly younger than him, and still** did not **even TRY to find any other solution but to fight him. He never gave any indication of knowing that Spiderman had enough super strenght to not be crushed by the bridge he dropped on him, in fact seemed surprised when Spiderman caught it. What if Spiderman hadn’t been strong enough? A 14 year old kid, dead, because non of the adults around him have learned how to resolve difficult situations peacefully.

I hated that Clint Barton and Scott Lang, who are fathers themselves, never thought about the small stature of the red and blue vigilante, never thought about the higher pitched voice, or the many pop-culture references the guy kept sprouting. I hate that they never took a step back, took a fucking second to think that maybe, MAYBE, this is not an adult under that mask.

I hated that Natasha Romanoff, who everyone is always going on and on and ON about how there is no secret keeping from her, how she notices things that others don’t, **didn’t** just fucking scream across the airport, so that everyone can hear her, that that is a teenager they are fighting. 

I hated how James Rhodes seemed to be the only one to even question the guys age, just that one time, born out more of annoyance than doubt and worry.

I hated how James Barnes and Sam Wilson **never** once used their_ supposed to be there_ intelligence,_ their supposed to be there _various experiences in battle, to deduce that though Spiderman was very skilled, he was also clearly inexperienced and SO MUCH FUCKING SMALLER THAN THEM!

The thing is, I LOVE fanfictions that have Irondad and Spiderson and that show Peter’s relationship with other Avengers. And sometimes it’s not even Tony who is the prime father figure to Peter and I love those, too. There are so many stories that I find myself reading again and again, containing Superfamily and domestic Avengers and Peter being a part of the team and all. 

But there is a lot that I hate about the civil war movie. 

So, if you ask me about being either Team Ironman, or Team Cap, I will tell you I am neither. They have both disappointed me.

I’m Team Spiderman.

* * *

Since work is picking up right now, I will have to continue with the rest later on. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, I can't take credit for this genius! But I love it and I want to be able to look at it forever!

[ ](https://so-not-starks-kid-37.tumblr.com/post/182813586670)

[so-not-starks-kid-37](https://so-not-starks-kid-37.tumblr.com/post/182813586670)

# Things Peter picked up from The Avengers

Part 1

1\. Clint, vents

“Peter! You come outta that vent this instant and clean up all this kool aid powder!” Natasha yells.

“Scotts the one that dropped it!”

2\. Natasha, giving absolute  no fucks when captured

“Can you let me go now? I need to pick up a pizza for dinner.” Peter says to his captuers.

“You don’t get it do you? You’re not getting out of here Spider-Man!” One of the men yell.

“Welp I guess my pizza is going to be cold.”

3\. Steve, baking when stressed

“Why are there so many cookies in here?” Tony asks as he steps on a oatmeal raisin cookie.

“I have finals tomorrow!” Peter yells as he pulls out a giant cake (thibk about the one stitch made).

4\. Tony, standing o n things during arguments

“For the last time Mikey is the best ninja turtle!” Peter yells.

“Fine, fine just get off of Logan before he stabs you!” Scott yells.

5\. Thor, breaking dinnerware

“Mmm! That was good!” Peter says happily while rubbing his stomach.

Picking up his plate he smashes it on the floor making Thor laugh. “Another please!”

6\. Bruce, see if he can cook things with science

#  BOOM!

Tony, Clint and Natasha run to the lab to see Bruce and Peter covered in mashed potatoes, chicken nuggets, corn and gravy. “What the hell happened in here?” Tony asks.

“Lasers are a no for warming up kfc.” Bruce says as Peter writes it down.

“Lasers are a no…but what about Thor?” Peter asks.

They look at each other. “I’ll find Thor.” (Bruce)

“I’ll get more kfc.” (Peter)


	13. Chapter 13

##  [Spiders don’t stick through shoes](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/182918536679/spiders-dont-stick-through-shoes)

Though it is never really adressed anywhere (comics, movies, cartoons, etc), I can’t imagine that Peter’s stickiness can go through the thick soles of his shoes. 

Can we just entertain, for a minute, the exasperation, fondness, joy, worry and every other emotion Tony goes through every time Peter loses his shoes because he had to spiderman somewhere and just kicked them off like they were annoying inconveniences? 

Exasperation because: Really Pete? That’s like the third pair this week!

  
Fondness because: Well, I couln’t leave this little guy (insert puppy or kitten) all the way up on that niche. Someone must have thrown him up there, like who even does that? Thats so cruel! He couln’t get down from there by himself. He would have died.

  
Joy because: Well, it’s about the only thing Peter let’s him buy for him without too much: “But Mr. Stark, you don’t have to spend all that money for me. I can make do.”…- just as long as Peter never finds out how much the shoes Tony gets him cost.

  
Worry because: Good Lord Peter! Were you running over broken glass or something?! Your feet are ripped open everywhere! - “Sorry Mr. Stark, I didn’t mean to get your floor all bloody. I swear I will clean it up.” - THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M WORRIED ABOUT!

And so on.


	14. Chapter 14

# Pokemon Go

Peter Parker would be the kind of guy who chooses his first appartment due to its proximity to a pokestop.

* * *

This was a bit too short for just one chapter entry, so I added another post.

* * *

* * *

## [Baby Squirrels](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/182988252454/baby-squirrels)

So, I read that Squirrels don’t know by nature to avoid people. That behavior is learned, whether by experience or parental instruction. Young squirrels are known to approach humans; especially when separated from their family. A squirrel that doesn’t know better may move towards human activity in search of food, shelter, or warmth; just seeking out what it instinctively wants. Especially in the colder months, little Squirrels that have lost their parents seek out humans especially, in the hope to be protected and cared for.

Can you imagine Peter just adopting every tiny Squirrel he comes across and smuggling them all to the Tower/Compound? And Tony’s inevitable reaction to his home turning into a freaking wildlive reserve.


	15. Chapter 15

##  [Peter hates guns](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/183003146744/peter-hates-guns)

My personal head-canon is that Peter, due to his uncle being shot, actually hates guns. He can tolerate being around them, he can accept that his teammates/family/friends/police etc., need to carry and use them on occasion. But he himself just really, really hates guns. Smaller handguns especially, as Ben was killed by one of those. 

The very first thing he always does when he is fighting someone, is disarming them and webbing their guns far out of reach.

He leaves the room if someone starts cleaning their piece in it, and insists to Mr Stark that he doesn’t want his suit weaponized, unless the upgrades have to do with his non-lethal webs. 

When Clint tries to teach him how to shoot a gun on the shooting range, he accidentally crushes it in his hand. 

Of course the others notice, and after some talk, they show understanding and consideration by never leaving their guns in the open and not making Peter handle one in the field or practice.


	16. Chapter 16

# Youtube tutorial

Remember how in the movie, Peter learned how to put on a tie by watching a youtube video? Because there was no father-figure like person to show him (looking at you Tony, very disappointed)

Thing is, Peter has probably had to do this a lot. Aunt May is a tremendously cool woman, but she is also very busy with her job and only has a limited skill set. And Peter never really had anyone to ask for a lot of stuff.

So, imagine if you will, the following setting: The Avengers all live together in the tower (because I like ignoring things that made me sad, so Civil War got resolved before things got bad, and Thanos never got the other infinity stones because ‘insert-stupid-reason-here’.)

Peter alternates between living there and living with his aunt on a weekly basis, or something.

Over time, each of the other Avengers catch Peter with his gaze focused on his laptop/tablet/phone/holographic screen, trying to follow the instructions given.

**Natasha, in the gym. **

*music playing, holographic screen showing a ballet-practice, Peter in his Spidersuit sans mask, sitting crosslegged and trying to figure out the complex set of motions.*

Natasha: Are you watching ballet?

Peter: Yeah. I used to practice when I was younger. I had really bad balance and coordination as a kid, so my parents signed me up for classes. It helped a lot. But Aunt May and Uncle Ben couldn’t afford it when I went to live with them, so I had to quit. Anyway, I recently saw this performance, and the dancer made this one specific move, and I thought, ‘hey, that would work great when taking down a thug in a narrow alley’. But I only found this really grainy video, and I can’t make out how they move their foot for the last part. It’s okay, I will get it eventually. Do you need to use the gym? I can go.”

*So Natasha ends up teaching Peter Ballet and the two are often practicing together.*

**Sam, in the kitchen.**

*****Sam comes into the kitchen in the middle of the night, having awoken from a nightmare and in search for a glass of water and some advil to go back to sleep. He finds Peter in a mess of dirty, used kitchen utensils and dough and flour everywhere, while the teen is bent over a Starkpad, watching James Oliver do something fancy with puff pastry.*

**S**am:Pete? It’s like three in the morning, what the hell are you doing?

Peter: It’s May’s birthday tomorrow, well, today, really. And I wanted to surprise her by making her those spinach and tomato filled pastries that she loves. I thought I could do it. He is making this look so easy. How come he can twist the ends around three times and make it look like a star, while I just look at mine wrong and it falls apart?

*So Sam shows him some tricks and helps him make and decorate the little pastries and after learning about Aunt May’s disasterous culinary skills, Sam starts teaching him how to cook and bake various dishes. They have those lessons regularly at the Tower, to the immense pleasure of everyone living there. And Aunt May, who Peter always brings something home to.*

Those are only two examples off the top of my head. Any more ideas?


	17. Chapter 17

##  [First time](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/183273030829/first-time)

Peter, vibrating in his seat on the jet, tapping his fingers against his legs: "Alright Spidey, this is fine. You totally got this. Mission is gonna be easy-peasy. No need to worry."

  
Tony, across from him: "You nervous?"

  
Peter, no hesitation at all: "Jepp."

  
Tony, sympathetic: "Well, it is your first time."

  
Peter: No. I have been nervous before."


	18. Chapter 18

##  [Why Peter and Shuri are not allowed to watch Disney movies together anymore.](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/183342726074/why-peter-and-shuri-are-not-allowed-to-watch)

T’Challa, Tony, Shuri and Peter sitting together in the common room one evening, watching Frozen. 

**Shuri, turning to Peter**: “Do you think Elsa is singing about diarrhea?”

**Peter, eyes wide**: “Oh my god, you are right!”

**Tony, beyond confused**: “What-”

**T’Challa**: “Don’t ask Tony! It’s a trap! Whatever nonsense this is, we won’t be able to ever forget, if you ask! Just ignore it!”

**Peter**: “It makes so much sense.”

**Shuri**: “I know, right?”

**Tony, opening his mouth**: “How-”

**T’Challa**: “Tony, I’m begging you! Don’t do it!”

**Peter**: “It’s like I’m seeing the movie for the first time!”

**Shuri**: “It really gives the whole thing a completely new meaning!”

**Tony, never having learned impulse control**: “Okay! What the hell are you two talking about?”

**T’Challa, defeatedly lying his head in his hands**: “Oh god, why?”

**Peter and Shuri, a wild grin on their faces, starting to sing**:   
“Let it gooo, let it goooo!   
Can’t hold it back anymoooooore.  
Let it goooo, let it goooooo!  
Turn away and slam that dooooor!  
I don’t care, what they’re going to say.  
Let the storm rage oooooon!  
It’s totally a diarrhea song!”  
**Then they fall over, laughing manically.**

**Tony, horrified: **“I-”

**T’Challa, horrified:** “I-”


	19. Chapter 19

##  [Raptiles](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/183570522114/raptiles)

Peter: "What if reptiles, were 'rap'tiles?"

  
Shuri: "... Like Snoop Crocc?"

  
Peter: "Or EmiNileCrocodile."

  
Shuri: "Dr. Snake?"

  
Peter: "Jay liZard."

  
Shuri: "50 Turtles!"

  
Tony, resignedly turning to T'Challa: "Another drink?"

  
T'Challa: "Please."


	20. Chapter 20

# Why most of the Avengers are banned from ‘All you can eat ’ Restaurants.

You guys know these restaurants that have food challenges, right?

The ones like those texan diners with their 72 ounzes Steak challenge, that if you can eat the whole thing in under an hour, you don’t have to pay for it.

Now imagine the high metabolism heroes like Steve, Thor, Bucky, Bruce and Peter just decimating these.

And Peter would of course ask if they had a dessert challenge as well.

All the while Tony is standing on the sidelines, shaking his head and muttering things like “I could just buy the whole damn restaurant, they don’t need to take up these challenges. Thats another place we can’t go anymore….


	21. Chapter 21

##  [Peter is Bruce’s #1 Fanboy](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/184525223104/peter-is-bruces-1-fanboy)

I always like to imagine the first time Peter meets Bruce, he like freezes for a few seconds, and then let’s out this high pitched scream/gasp, then just points at Bruce and shouts: “Don’t move!” and then runs out of the room. 

And everyone is super confused (apart from Tony, who knows what a human disaster his kid is, and is watching the scene while biting his fist to keep from laughing) and Bruce is sinking into depression because apparently this teen is so scared of Hulk to get this reaction. And then Peter runs back into the room, hands overflowing with books and papers and posters, which he all dumps on the table in front of Bruce. And then he just goes like:

“Oh my god, Dr Banner, this is such an honor. You are like my favorite scientist ever! (Tony: Hey!) I have read every one of your published papers and my friend may have hacked into your old university and found some of your papers that you didn’t publish and now I realize that that’s not something I should tell you probably, please don’t like sue us, but can you please sign everything I own and oh my god I’m shaking your hand and I’m never gonna wash that again ever. And can I get a photo, oh my god Ned is gonna be sooooo jealous!”

And Bruce is like: …. I’m not crying, I just need a minute to deal with my emotions. I love this kid.


	22. Chapter 22

##  [Beware of unpopular opinion](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/184758572629/beware-of-unpopular-opinion)

I actually don’t like the trope of making children the carbon copies of their parents. I thing it takes away from the characters themselves if you attribute certain aspects of their characteristics or personalities to inheritance and genes.

Like saying: Of course this child is incredibly smart, their father/mother is a genius.  
and: Of course this child became a hero, their father/mother is a hero.  
or: Of course this child is completely selfless, their father/mother is completely selfless.

Genes, heritage, and upbringing certainly play a big role in the developement of a child, but the child should also be allowed to develop their own character, and grow into their own selfs, on their own merits. 

With this being said, I actually hope that Morgan Stark will not be some kind of super genius, who tinkers around on her fathers suits and invents newer and better mechanics all the time. 

I would be quite happy to see her just be a normal girl, be special in her own way. 

And of course, I really, REALLY, want to see Peter Parker take on the role of her big brother. (though to be honest, I’m not holding my breath on that one, at least where the MCU is concerened. Thank god for fanfiction! They got it down.)


	23. Chapter 23

##  [Conspiracy theories](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/184948989009/conspiracy-theories)

Just watched a video about ridiculous conspiracy theories, and now I can't get the idea out of my head that Peter and Shuri use another one every week to troll everyone.

  
T'Challa: Shuri, Peter, do you want to join us out on the balcony? It's the night of the full moon, the view is quite beautiful.  
Shuri: Brother, you know the moon isn't real, right?  
Peter, nodding: Yeah, the government is projecting the image of the moon into the sky, in order to hide the thing that will destroy us all in a few years.  
T'Challa: ... okay...

  
-  
Peter: Thor would totally win!  
Shuri: No way, Osiris is gonna kick his ass!  
Tony: What are you talking about?  
Peter: We are debating if an Asgardian God can beat an Egyptian God.  
Tony: ... Why?  
Shuri, rolling her eyes: Because CERN has built a Star Gate to revive Osiris, duh. So we need to prepare for his arrival. And I'm sorry, Pete, but Egyptian gods trump Asgardian gods any day.  
Peter: Oh yeah? Let's ask Thor himself, then.  
Shuri: Lead the way.  
The two teens walk out of the room. Tony looks confusedly after them: .... okay...

  
-  
Tony and T'Challa: Hey kids, what do you say for vacationing in Egypt this summer?  
Peter and Shuri, looking aghast: Absolutely not!  
Tony, taken aback: Why?  
Peter, rolling his eyes: Because of the Shark spies.  
T'Challa: ... Shark spies?  
Shuri, nodding seriously: There are mind-controlled, bionic shark spies in the Red Sea. We can't let them get a hold of our tumblr passwords.  
Tony and T'Challa: ... okay...


	24. Chapter 24

Okay, like, I get it. 

Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr.’s contracts were running out. Sam Wilson was supposed to be set up as the next Captain America. So consequently, the MCU had to get rid of the characters of Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

I get that.

But why, WHY, not just make Steve wear the stupid gauntlet and snap and have him sacrifice himself? 

Why make him go back in time, to a time he shouldn’t feel comfortable in anymore after living so long in the future (just see the comics for reference, in them Steve was thrown back into his timeline and was at first happy, but quickly grew to detest the time period)? Why make him return to a woman who had moved on without him, who had had children that now won’t exist? Why have him living in the past again, knowingly ignoring and not saving his BEST FRIEND from the torture and brain washing Hydra is putting him through.

Why make Morgen Stark lose her father, why make Pepper Potts lose her husband, why make Peter Parker lose his THIRD father figure in a row, instead of just, I don’t know, LET TONY LIVE AND RETIRE FROM IRON MAN AND BE HAPPY WITH HIS FAMILY?

FUCKING WHY MARVEL????!!!!


	25. Chapter 25

*about to enter a spooky looking building*

**Bucky:** After you.

**Sam:** Oh no. I have seen that movie, the black guy dies first.

**Bucky:** Relax. Virgins are safe.


	26. Chapter 26

Now that most people have seen Spiderman: Far From Home, I see all these posts about how ‘everything is so bad and unfair and dammit Marvel let poor Peter rest, haven’t you done enough?!’

…

And I’m like: Guys, compared to all the stuff that Peter went through in the comics, his MCU version so far has spend every birthday in Disneyland while skipping around and singing a jolly song, and eating as much ice-cream as humanly possible. 

Now, I’m not saying that Peter in the movies hasn’t unfairly suffered a lot already, and I certainly don’t enjoy watching him suffer, but Spiderman being fate’s little punching bag is pretty much canon in the Marvel universe. I do hope they go easier on him in future movies, but I wont be surprised if we have to watch him suffer more in every new installment. I’m not looking forward to it, to be honest.


	27. Chapter 27

##  [A house with spiders is a healthy house](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/186587530309/a-house-with-spiders-is-a-healthy-house)

Unlike many others, I have never found spiders to be scary, creepy, or gross. The house I grew up in was moderately big, and pretty old. Pretty much all of my female relatives (sisters, mother, grandmother), who lived in the house, were scared of spiders. But my grandfather, who I was very close to as a child, used to say: “A house with spiders is a healthy house. They eat the vermin that might cause damage.” And those words have always stuck with me.

Now, of course, I’m aware that there are some poisonous spiders that can be dangerous, and even deadly, to humans. And I keep a respectable distance from those. But as far as other spiders are concerned, I actually like spotting them sitting in corners of a room in my apartment. 

One day, I want to write (or read) a story, in which a (maybe slightly more animalistic) Peter, is at the tower, or the compound, together with the more vulnerable members of the Avengers family (Clint’s wife and kids, Pepper, May, Morgan, you get the gist). The Avengers are at some shindig that required their presence (maybe something PR related, who cares). And some evil dudes want to use the opportunity to get their hands on the family members of the heroes for blackmail purposes or something. 

So these evil dudes manage to cut the power, rendering most of the security useless (maybe it’s an inside job and they were actually well prepared to take on Stark’s security system), and while everyone is chilling in the living room, watching a kid friendly movie, Peter’s spidey sense starts tingling. Right after the power is cut off, Friday is non responsive, and there is absolutely no signal to call for help. 

And then Peter’s spider instincts are taking over, because someone has breached his home (web) and now there are intruders (vermin) threatening his family. 

So he secures everyone in the living room and takes to the vents and picks off the intruders one by one and spins them into cocoons that hang from the ceiling everywhere. 

After that he restores the power and Friday calls the Avengers, and they race back, fearing the worst, but all they find is wiggling web cocoons, suspended from the ceiling, while Peter and the rest are sitting in the living room, eating ice cream and watching a documentary on spiders.

Because a house with spiders is a healthy house. 


	28. Chapter 28

##  [Today's seminar](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/186608288324/todays-seminar)

**The sign on the door says: 'Regaining your sense of self-preservation'**

  
*May shoving Peter through the door*: "But Aunt May, the thugs only had ONE grenade launcher."

  
*Pepper dragging Tony into the room*: "But Pep, I still had 2 seconds left before the bomb went off."

  
*Bucky carrying Steve inside*: "Bucky, come on! So what if I wasn't absolutely sure that I had grabbed the functional parachute?"


	29. Chapter 29

##  [Giraffes vs Unicorns](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/186637047379/giraffes-vs-unicorns)

Peter: I just think it's really unfair that unicorns aren't real, but giraffes are.

  
Tony: How are those even related?

  
Peter: Think about it, what is more realistic? A horse with a horn, or a leopard-camel-elk with a 3 meter long neck?

  
Tony: ... dammit you are right!


	30. Chapter 30

##  [Far From Home end credits](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/186763142359/far-from-home-end-credits)

You know, I have been stumbling over posts speculating if people (police,etc) are going to call for Spiderman’s arrest after the unveiling of his identity and false accusations from Mysterio. (Sidenote, I’m gonna be fucking pissed if New York turns giant asshole in the next movie and attacks Peter)

But it automatically started a headcanon for me. 

Have you ever seen Hancock? With Will Smith? There is this part where his friend (PR manager) tells him to let himself be arrested and go to prison, so that the people can see what it’s like when he isn’t there to safe their ungrateful butts. 

And now I’m envisioning Peter relaxing in a nice prison cell (no raft like torture chamber or anything), having regular meals, kidding around with the guards, playing basketball with the other inmates (of which most are actually pretty cool guys once he gets to know them), getting a full 8 hours of sleep for fucking once, and just indulging in self care (and getting access to a real therapist, something he couldn’t have afforded on his own, and being able to talk about all his trauma.)

Meanwhile New York is run over by thugs, the crime rate hits an all time high, no one is there to rescue people out of burning buildings anymore, and people finally realize that Spiderman was the only goddamn superhero who cared about the little guy. (Like when was the last time you saw one of the Avengers stopping a bank robbery or something?) 


	31. Chapter 31

##  [Sony, Marvel, Disney, Peter Parker](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/187276096584/sony-marvel-disney-peter-parker)

You know what?

I don’t care!

Peter Parker is out of the MCU? Well, then I’m out of the MCU.

Look, I’m not saying that other characters aren’t great, and I might continue watching the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, but while I like the other heroes, I love Peter Parker simply more. I have always been a Spidey fan. I started loving the MCU movies (with exceptions), because they had Peter Parker. I wanted to continue watching the MCU movies, because of the possible future interactions between other Marvel heroes with Peter. 

If Peter Parker is out of the MCU, then there goes my reason for following the MCU. It’s that easy. 

And I know that I’m very likely in the vast minority with this mind set. Again, I don’t care. I like what I like. Peter Parker is my favorite character, always has been, always will be. If I can’t have him interacting with other great characters in a movie setting, I will simply go back to reading comics, watching cartoons ( I LOVE the Ultimate Spider-Man series where he has a team with Nova, White Tiger, PowerMan and Iron-Fist) and fanfics. 

Fanfics have had a history of catering to my needs way better than any movie ever has.

I want IronDad content? Fandom’s got me covered.

I want Spideypool content? Fandom’s got me covered.

I want Starker content? Fandom’s got me fucking covered.

I want a solution to the snap that makes sense and is heartwarming and wasn’t pulled out of anyone’s ass? - I lost the link to the fic, but it was there, so guess what? Fandom’s got me covered!!!

Quite frankly I don’t need the MCU. I’m grateful that the many movies in the franchise have managed to create so many more fans, and have inspired so many great fanworks. I’m grateful that they have introduced so many great actors into the roles we will forever love them in. 

But to be quite honest, fanfiction depicting and celebrating my favorite characters has been there before they ever saw the light on the big screen, and it will be there when filmmakers finally get to a point when they can’t milk that cash cow any more.

Because that is what a great fandom does. It gathers fantastic people who invest their time and effort and a great deal of passion, to create and share their works with other fans, with often no more than a few comments and likes (kudos, bookmarks) to thank them for it. 

And they are marvelous! The artists and writers and video editors of this fandom are precious and fantastic. The readers who write reviews and give kudos and recommend stories and other works of art to others are phenomenal. 

So before everyone despairs over Tom Holland’s Peter Parker leaving the MCU, please take a step back and look at all we have, and all that we will gain in the future. 

Fandom’s got us covered.


	32. Chapter 32

Far From Home

Now, before I say anything further, I have to confess that I have not yet seen the Spider-man Far from home movie myself. I have heard and seen and read enough to build up a pretty comprehensible picture for myself (and I will see it as soon as it comes out on blu-ray), but I might be wrong at some points, because I’m basing all my assumptions and opinions on second hand knowledge. So please don’t attack me if I do get something wrong.

Now. One of the things that annoys me slightly, is how most people view and have reacted to Peter’s actions in the movie.

Saying he was trying to run away from his problem, or calling him naive for handing control of EDITH over to Beck.

Blaming him for being immature and irresponsible.

I just can’t agree with that. To my mind, (considering what I know, again, I could be wrong), Peter actually made very comprehensible and good decisions.

Look at it this way. He had come back from being dead, he had to find himself again in a world that had gone on without him for five years. He had fought in a devastating war. He had watched someone who meant a lot to him die. (again.)

It’s not a stretch to imagine that he was still working through the trauma he went through at the beginning of the movie. At this point, not wanting to go out as Spiderman as much, trying to take a break from it all, is actually a very responsible and mature decision. If you are working through trauma and/or grief, you shouldn’t put yourself in a situation where either you, or someone else could get hurt.  
So this wasn’t about dodging his responsibilities.  
Peter didn’t feel that he was ready, he wanted to spend some time with his friends and actually have some fun, maybe this way work through his issues.

When he gave Beck the glasses, that as well was, in my eyes, a responsible move.

Beck had been introduced to him as a great hero. Someone who was more experienced and powerful than he himself. Nick Fury and Maria Hill, two people who had been in this business longer than even Tony Stark had been, seemed to trust Beck.

Peter had felt pressured with the everyone and their mother crying out for a new ironman, and he didn’t feel deserving of that title, or in any way ready to take on that mantle. Handing over the glasses to someone who was more likely able to fill those shoes, someone that he had been told was trust worthy, was therefore a mature and responsible decision.

If Beck hadn’t turned out to be a giant turd, people would have likely congratulated Peter for his wise and mature actions. It’s hardly his fault that he was just as tricked by the guy, as anyone else.

So blaming him for his decisions, because they simply turned out to be bad ones, is just really hypocritical and unfair.

Again, I have not yet seen the movie myself. So please excuse this, if I don’t have all the facts. This is simply my observation from things I have read and seen and heard.

_(that was what I posted, and the one beneath is an answer I received, which I also wanted to save away.)_

purplecactl

I have seen the movie, and I have to say, this is actually a fair point! People seem to forget that the Peter in the MCU is still a teenager, and like all teenagers, he will make some mistakes, it’s what humanizes this character for the audience. And if we as an audience hadn’t already known that Mysterio was a bad guy/ he was pretending to be good for dastardly blah blah blah, then I think the betrayal would’ve effected us as much as it did Peter. Hell- Beck even came to Peter to console him and let him know that wanting to be a kid isn’t a bad thing, it’s not a selfish want, because that’s what he’s supposed to be doing at his age (minus the superheroing). So it’s really not our place to say that Peter should’ve seen the signs and to trust no one, when there were no signs in his view, and he was told to trust him by people he already trusted.


	33. Chapter 33

(Pseudo) big brother Wade

I’m in a bit of a platonic mood today.

So, picture if you will: (I personally would be with a human, no-powers AU, but I think it could be done with canonical powers as well)

Vanessa and Peter are siblings.

Vanessa has guardianship over her much younger brother after the demise of their parents. She turns to sex work to support herself and Peter.

(Very loving relationship between the two. Vanessa is protective of Peter and wants for him to have a better life when he is older. She tries to shield him from her work as much as possible.)

But Petey is a smart cookie even at 13, and just as protective over his big sister as she is of him.

When one of her regular clients starts abusing her, (she tries to hide it from Peter, but he sees the bruises and things), Peter finds a merc bar (three guesses which one, and the first two don’t count), and tries to hire someone to mess up his sisters abusive client. (He had some money saved away from little jobs he did around the neighborhood, like lawn mowing and grocery shopping for the elderly folks living there. He had wanted to save up for a nice Christmas present for his sister, but he will spent all of his hard earned money to make sure that asshole doesn’t hurt Vanessa again in a heartbeat)

The bartender/owner tries to kick him out a few times, but while Peter might be a scrawny little nerd, he is also fast and resourceful, and manages to dodge all of the guys attempts to grab him.

Of course the money isn’t nearly enough, and everyone in the bar he asks turns him down with a derisive snort or a patronizing laugh.

But then he runs smack dab into Wade Wilson (the very top of the mercenaries in the bar with not only the highest kill count, but also the highest prices - not that Peter knows that).

And Wade may be a merc and a killer and a crazy son of a bitch to most people, but he is not an asshole and he happens to have a soft spot for kids.

Also, this kid is just the kind of sassy little shit with sarcastic humor that Wade can identify with.

And also, he kind of hates shitty bastards that beat down on sex workers (it’s just as respectable a job as any other, if you asked Wade. But then again, Wade is a mercenary, so maybe he is biased.)

So of course he takes the job. (He doesn’t even take Peter’s money. Not like he needs the measly 100 bucks the kid has scraped together. But since Peter is insistent on paying him - _like an adult_ \- Wade accepts the voucher for two free tacos that Peter had in his jacket pocket.)

Since Peter doesn’t know which one of her clients is abusing his sister, Wade has to stalk Vanessa a bit to catch the asshole in the act. (Cue Wade falling a little bit in love with the woman)

Then the day comes when the asshole client punches Vanessa in the face, and Wade (who had been shadowing them to this hotel), breaks through the window and lays into the guy.

When Vanessa (who freaked out a bit at first, but has calmed down when it became obvious that all of Wade’s aggression was pointed against her abuser) asks what the hell is going on, Wade tells her about his deal with Peter.

Vanessa is horrified that her little brother went into a merc bar, but Wade calms her down (many of his fellow mercs have families of their own and wouldn’t dream of hurting a child. Those that would, are swiftly dealt with)

Then Wade asks her out on a taco date (using the voucher for two free tacos Peter paid him with)

Long story short, the two fall in love. Wade gets Vanessa a job in the bar (he doesn’t discriminate against her chosen profession), where people are very aware that mistreating a prostitute will end with them 6 feet under (especially if that prostitute is Wade Wilsons girlfriend)

Peter and Wade start bonding, developing a brotherly relationship.

And then there could be all kinds of story lines after that.


	34. Chapter 34

As much as I love the puppy-like, super kind hearted, wants to be friends with everyone, Peter Parker we usually get in fanfics, I sometimes can’t help but fantasize about a more grumpy, lone wolf, and very reluctant to team ups or anyone trying to be his friend, Peter Parker. (Slightly inspired from the Peter Parker from ‘Into the Spiderverse’.)

And how, after realizing that Peter just needs some ‘convincing’ to be more open to his fellow heroes, everyone kinda conspires to be in his face 24/7, until Peter can’t help but admit defeat and accept them into his life.

Maybe they even enlist the help of their children, in order to break Spidey down faster. And Spidey becomes like a big brother/uncle/kinda father figure/whatever floats your boat.

Any ship or dynamic you want for Peter and other cast members. Anyone other than me interested in something like that?


	35. Chapter 35

Underrepresented Genres with IronDad  
Dear Fandom. 

We have a lot of Irondad and Spiderson stories playing in the canon universe. 

We also have a lot of slight canon divergent stories, and some really great ‘no-powers’ au’s. 

But just now, I thought to myself: You know, I don’t think I have seen any fantasy or supernatural genres involving familial Tony and Peter dynamics.

…

Let’s just play around a bit with the possibilities these genres could bring for stories!

Like prince Peter Stark who has been kidnapped at a young age and sent through a magical portal into another dimension, where he grows up in the modern (non-magical) world, but due to his unknown heritage, has special (spider?) powers, which he uses to help people, but hides behind a mask to not be seen as an abomination by his fellow humans. Until one day, when King Anthony Stark and his knights/soldiers/wizards/whatever finally find the scoundrels responsible for his son’s kidnapping, and Tony finally learns what happened to his son (who he believed to be dead all those years). And then he and a group of trusted guards, who are called the Avengers, and the kingdoms strongest magician, Stephen Strange, travel to this world where the young prince was sent to, in the hopes of finding him.

Or let’s go for a supernatural setting.

Ghost Peter, (who may or may not be actually dead), who ‘haunts’ the house of his late uncle and aunt, and starts to like the little family that has bought it and moved in. Pepper and Tony Stark are fun to watch, and their daughter is really sweet and Peter likes playing with her when her parents aren’t looking. (Adults can’t see ghosts unless they believe in them, but children are different, more open to things). So Morgan has an invisible friend named Peter, who she really likes, and Tony and Pepper humor her (many kids have invisible friends, it’s normal, right?)  
Until one night, someone breaks into the house and threatens the family and then ghost Peter uses his ghostly powers and just throws them around and sticks them onto the ceiling (while Morgan claps her hands and screams: Go Petey!)  
And then Tony and Pepper start being able to see and hear him, too. And then things get all domesticly Ironfam!

And there are so many more possibilities!

How I have I not seen fics with those genres? Does anyone have any recommendations?


	36. Chapter 36

# Peter as Aladdin

Home with the Family for Christmas. Watching Aladdin with my nieces, and can’t help thinking that the story wouldn’t work like this if Peter Parker was Aladdin.

Because Peter might be mischievous enough to trick the Genie into getting him out of the cave without using up one of his wishes, but then that little do-gooder would use up his very first wish to free the Genie.

Peter: “What would you wish for?”

Genie: “Well… freedom.”

Peter: “You are a prisoner?!”

*insert explanation*

Peter: “Well, I'mma wish you free.”

*Genie looses shackles*

Peter: “…. Wanna go to the market and steal some bread with me and my monkey?”


	37. Chapter 37

Of phallic gestures

  * **Peter:** Have you ever wondered why showing someone the middle finger is offensive? Like, if I hold up my index finger, it signifies I have an idea or something like that. Why is the middle finger the bad one?
  * **Stephen:** The middle finger is the penis and the curled fingers on either side are the testicles. By doing it, you are offering someone a phallic gesture. It is saying, 'this is a phallus' that you're offering to people, which is a very primeval display.
  * **Tony, eyebrow wiggle:** Wanna make a primeval display in the bedroom and show me your middle finger, Stephen?

This was too short, so here is another:

Why Tony isn't allowed to cook

  * *shrill beeping sounds through the tower suite*
  * **Stephen:** Is that the smoke detector?
  * **Tony, frantically trying douse the flames shooting up from the frying pan, deadpan:** No, the kitchen is trying to back into a parking spot.
  * **Peter, grabbing for a restaurant flyer, unconcerned:** So, take-out tonight?


	38. Chapter 38

##  [Law Enforcement Avengers & Good Criminal Peter](https://lurafita.tumblr.com/post/189473652754/law-enforcement-avengers-good-criminal-peter)

Okay, have we considered the following:

Non powers AU

Avengers are some kind of police force (detectives/FBI/special agents/belonging to a special unit/whatever), that covers mostly high scale theft.

Peter Parker, though no one knows his real name cause he is always costumed and goes by the alias Spiderman, is a high scale class thief.

However, Spidey is a kind of ‘Robin Hood’ criminial. His victims are Mob bosses and Crime Syndicates and corrupt higher ups and pretty much anyone who has some kind of dirt on them.

Because of that, not every victim of Spiderman reports whatever he has stolen to the authorities, fearing that an investigation might uncover their dirty business.(Though many still do, believing themselves smarter than the police)

Which is why after every heist, Spiderman makes a call to the agents in charge of apprehending him, the Avengers unit; usually to the units head: Tony Stark.

Usually with the words: “Guess what I just stole.”

And, okay, _technically_, Spiderman is breaking the law and they should really put more effort into finally finding and arresting him. But thanks to this guy’s thefts the Avengers have been able to put some major bad guys behind bars (some of which had been the real scum of the earth). Also, Spiderman is never armed (aside from this weird bio-degradable web stuff he uses), and has never harmed an innocent (a black eye or a dislocated shoulder to a hired gun is blissfully overlooked by the agents.)

So, they kinda like the guy, okay? Have even given him a nickname: Spidey.

Not even their unit chief: Nicolas Fury, is much on their asses about catching the Spider already.

One day, Tony’s little daughter Morgan gets kidnapped, and the whole team is frantically trying to find who grabbed her. Is it someone they are currently investigating, or one of their cases that is going before a judge soon. Is someone trying to use Tony’s daughter to blackmail him and the team, or is it old fashioned revenge?

The team isn’t making any progress, there are just too many suspects, not enough info to send them in the right direction, and Tony is about to have a fucking break down.

Then his phone rings and as he answers, anticipating to hear the voice of the kidnapper of his little girl, the familiar voice of Spiderman speaks instead.

“Guess what I just stole?”

Tony likes the guy, but he doesn’t have time for this right now, and he tells Spidey as much, and is about to hang up, when suddenly Morgan is on the other end of the phone call with a happy “Hi Daddy!”

Turns out Spidey’s latest target was the guy who had kidnapped Tony’s daughter, because the Avengers had arrested the guys brother a few years ago, and the brother had just recently been killed in prison.

When Spidey was scoping out the place for his heist, he found little Morgan locked up in some dark, dank room, and got her out.

And Tony is in tears, because thank fuck is baby girl is safe. Then Spidey is back on the line and tells him to meet them in some diner that’s not far away, and also where he found her, identifying the person behind the kidnapping.

Tony and the others race to the diner, where they find Morgan making her way through an impressive amount of pancakes topped with ice cream and a chocolate milkshake.

Tony beelines to her and scoops her up and is just “Oh thank god. Are you alright Morgan? Did they hurt you? It’s all gonny be okay now, Daddy’s got you.” and so on.

And the others get some hugs in too, and everyone is just relieved and happy and Morgan seems to be unharmed and thank god.

Then they notice the young man (teen?) who is sitting across from where Morgan sat in the booth, an iced coffee before him, who is just looking at the scene with a little smile on his face.

He introduces himself as Peter Parker, a bystander who had been handed the child from some guy in a costume with the order to wait with the girl in the diner until her father and his friends come to pick her up.

And they know, okay? It’s not a good cover story, and Spidey isn’t even really trying right then, and they just fucking know that this is the thief they have been (kinda but not really) trying to catch.

And they don’t fucking care.

They thank him profusely for ‘staying with Morgan’ and keeping an eye on her (read: saving her from her kidnapper). and then most of the team gets back to the precinct to get ready to arrest the son of a bitch who kidnapped little Morgan, while Tony and Morgan stay a little longer in the diner with Peter, because: “But I haven’t finished my pancakes, Daddy.”

And Morgan tells Tony all about how Spiderman broke her out of the smelly room and took her piggy back and scaled that one wall that was “So high, Daddy! I thought we were gonna fall, but Spidey wrapped those sticky webs around me so I wouldn’t slip off, and then we was jumping and climbing like in those parkerkour videos that my friend Amy showed me and it was so cool Daddy.”

And Morgan keeps stealing little looks at Peter whenever she talks about Spiderman, so Tony can guess that the young man probably lifted his mask for her (probably so she wouldn’t be scared of him). But Morgan is nothing but loyal, so if Peter asked her to keep him being Spiderman a secret between them, then that’s exactly what she will do. (Even though she is very bad at it.)

And… then I don’t really know. Things will happen, the team and Peter (Spidey) will get closer (Tony and Peter in particular) and maybe things even get to a point where Spidey is offered a consultant job with the team, in exchange for a prison sentence, or something like that. (It takes a thief to catch a thief, after all. And Spidey can provide a lot of insider info for the department.)

Or something else. I don’t know.


	39. Blanket Permission

It kinda baffles me, that sometimes, when one writer takes inspiration from another writer's story, and puts their own ideas and twists into it, this particular plot becomes a trope. And then other times, when one writer takes inspiration from another writer's story, and puts their own ideas and twists intoit, they get attacked for stealing the idea.

I genuinely don't get this._ (Well, no, actually I get it a little bit. Authors put a lot of work and love into their stories and it's only right to have that work be acknowledged.)_

Look, let me explain.

I write about things I like, right?

I center my stories around the characters I like the most and create situations that I find exciting or appealing or enjoyable. _(Or sometimes even sad or scary when I'm in a particular mood.)_

Point of the matter is: I write what I want to read.

Which, to me, translates that I **_want_ **others to get inspiration from my stories.

I _**want** _people to read my stuff and say:_ "I liked that. I'm gonna write something like that!",_ or: _"This was a nice conclusion, but this story could have played out very differently. I would like to explore an alternate event.",_ or:_ "There was this one thing in this story that I would like to put into a different context."_, or even: _"Well, the idea itself was nice enough, but I don't think it was very well executed here. I would like to try my hand on this."_

Because all of this, would afford me with a wide variety of stories to read that I would likely enjoy. _(Not even to mention the great honor and ginormous ego-boost I would feel knowing that something I wrote somehow inspired someone else.)_

So, with having explained my stand on this matter, please see this as blanket permission from me, to make use of **_anything _**written in my works of fanfiction you want.

Any prompt, plot bunny, vague idea, characteristics explored, circumstances written, or full on story of mine that has been published here;

\- if you want to write something with the same premise, but different developement

\- if you want to write something completely different, but want to use one aspect or characteristic featured in the stories

\- if you can find any inspiration from any of my works at all

PLEASE use _**whatever** _you need or want from them.

_(Also, sorry I made you think this was a new chapter.)_


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spooning.
> 
> Or: Dr. Strange explains the world while Tony is inappropriate and Peter is embarrassed.

  * **Peter, holding up a spoon:** "You ever wonder why it's called spooning? Like, did someone look at two spoons lying together and say: Yep, that's what two lovers hugging look like."
  * **Stephen, not taking his eyes off the magical book he is reading:** "The term is derived from an old welsh tradition. The welsh have been famous for their wood carvings since medieval times. They also held a particular favor for wooden spoons. They were hand carved pieces of art. Young men would spend months carving them, the more intricate, the better. Tradition tells that if the woman of their desires accepted the spoon, the two were then acknowledged as a couple by society. Hence spooning originally meant the giving of an intricately carved spoon to the woman you loved and wanted to marry. Over time, spooning came to mean a type of hug where you lay facing the same way. Likely born out of the public affection the new couples displayed by standing close together and sharing an embrace."
  * **Tony, who had been banished to the couch for the last two days, mildly confused:** "... So you telling me you want me to make you a spoon? I make you a spoon and I'm allowed back into your pants, that what you telling me? Friday, get one of the suits to fetch my welding equipment, fuck wood, I'm going to make the most badass titanium gold alloy spoon and then we can pick back up where we left off on page 32 in the Kama Sutra!"
  * **Peter, watching Tony leave with a completely red face:** "No offense, but I'm gonna be at Ned's for the rest of the week."
  * **Stephen, head in his hand, sighing deeply:** "I get that."


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some big brother Peter and little sister Morgan stuff cause I’m in a fluffy mood

Morgan tiptoed her way towards the bed on the other end of the large room, hoping Peter hadn’t heard the door open. (He had. Just as he did the excited little gasps that Morgan made, as she stealthily - well, as stealthy as any five year old could - crept forward. He was trying very hard to control his smile as he feigned sleep.)

At the foot of the queen sized bed, the girl scrambled up and crouched into position. A big smile on her face as she narrated her actions.

“A wild Morgan has appeared! Morgan uses ‘tackle’ on sleeping Peter!”

Then she pounced. Peter let out an ‘oof’, as she landed on his middle, and quickly wrapped his arms around her so that she wouldn’t fall off. Not bothering to hide his grin any longer, he squinted up at his little sister.

“The attack was very effective. Sleeping Peter woke up. Awake Peter uses ‘tickle’.”

Morgan squealed as Peter’s fingers danced over her sides, laughing loudly while trying to wiggle out of the 19 year old’s grasp. 

“Morg-hahaha- Morgan has no more- hahaha- hp- haha. She fainted.”

Smirking, Peter stopped his assault and the little girl collapsed on his chest, exhausted but smiling.

“No fair attacking my weak point.”

He chuckled and lightly wrapped his arms around her, feeling as she relaxed against him. 

“That’s for the surprise attack. So, Morgie-moo. Why are you up at-” he quickly grabbed his phone from his nightstand to look at the time. “6:21am on a Sunday. Did we have plans today and I forgot?”

Morgan shook her head against his chest, then folded her arms over it and propped her chin up on her hands to look directly at her big brother.

“I had a dream.”

“Good dream, or bad dream?”

“Hm. First it was a bad dream. But then something funny happened. And then it was a good dream.”

He smiled at her encouragingly.

“Really? Sounds exciting. What was it about?”

“There was a dragon!” She exclaimed with wide eyes. “And it was flying around and roaring really loud and people were scared and running away.”

Peter nodded. 

“That does sound scary. Was the dragon breathing fire?”

Morgan shook her head.

“No. But it had really sharp teeth and claws and it was super big. And then it was flying up to the top of the tower and clung to it like the big ape in the movie.”

Peter frowned.

“Who showed you King Kong?”

“Uncle Sam. He said if he don’t show me good movies, you and dad will wash my brain with only bad sci-fi flicks like Star Wars. I told him you can’t wash a brain. Only hair. And then he laughed and we watched the movie, but he covered my eyes during the scary parts. Hey, what’s sci-fi and Star Wars? How come you haven’t shown me?”

She looked very indignant for a five year old. A skill undoubtedly learned from her mother.

“Don’t worry Morga-chu, I’ll show you all the Star Wars movies when you are a little older. Promise. Remind me to web Sam to the ceiling later. But what happened in your dream? Did the Dragon attack the tower?”

“It was about to! But then you and Daddy and the others showed up and fought it!”

Peter grinned, while carefully rearranging his blanket to cover Morgan as well. No sense in letting her get cold, and maybe he could get her to sleep a few more hours.

“Avengers and Spiderman to the rescue! So, what happened then? We kicked it’s scaly butt, right?”

But Morgan regretfully shook her head. 

“It was too powerful. Daddy’s blasters (- she hadn’t quite mastered the word ‘repulsor’ yet) just made little puff-clouds against the dragon’s skin, and all the other weapons were useless too. And the dragon was too strong for your webs, and just snapped them. And it knocked Thor out of the sky. And it stepped on the Hulk and he couldn’t get it’s foot off him.”

There was just the slightest tremble in her voice, and Peter wound his arms around her a little bit tighter.

“I’m guessing that was the bad part of the dream, hm?”

She nodded. “It was really scary.”

Peter was getting ready to console her, when suddenly she brightened right back up.

“And then your tummy growled!”

He looked at her, stunned and bewildered.

“My… tummy growled?”

“Hmhm. Really loudly. Like, as loud as when the dragon roared.” Then she waved a finger in his face, again, in a scarily good imitation of her mom. “Because you been skipping meals again, mister.”

The sight of a five year old girl berating a 19 year old enhanced superhero would be funny, if it wasn’t also strangely intimidating. Peter was quick to lift up both his hands in surrender. 

“I promise to take better care of myself. Including all the dream versions of me.”

She looked at him closely for a second, nodded, and then went back to recounting her dream.

“And then everyone was looking at you. Even the dragon. And it bowed it’s big head down to you and then it licked you up with it’s giant tongue!”

“Eww. Dragon slobber.” He shuddered for effect. Morgan laughed.

“It thought you were a dragon baby, because of your empty tummy sounding just like a roar. And then it didn’t wanna fight you anymore. And then the dragon told you-”

“Wait, the dragon could speak?”

“Yes.” She made it sound like that should have been clear from the beginning. The eye-roll was definitely picked up from Tony. “So, then the dragon told you that someone had stolen her eggs!”

He nodded seriously.

“Female, speaking dragon looking for her dragon-napped children in Manhattan. Got ya. What happened then?”

Satisfied that her brother was keeping up with the story, Morgan continued.

“So then you all decided to help her find her eggs, because someone who would steal a dragon’s babies is bad, and heroes fight bad people.”

Another nod. “Right you are.”

“So then Daddy called Mommy, because he didn’t know how to find dragon babies, and Mommy knows everything.”

Peter bit his lip hard to stop the laugh that was bubbling up.

“And then Mommy put on her Rescue armor and flew to where you were, and then she and Aunty Natasha found the bad people. Because Aunty Natasha is always winning when we play hide and seek, so she can find anyone.”

Which made perfect sense to Peter.

“So then you all beat up the bad guys and saved the eggs! And THEN the eggs were cracking open, and there were tiny, little baby dragons!”

“How many?”

Morgan had to think for a few seconds, scrunching up her nose when trying to remember.

“Uhm… 3. And as a thank you for helping her find her children, the Mama dragon let me play with them.”

“Wait, when did you get there?”

“I was there the whole time, how else could I know what happened. Duh.”

“Well… you got me there.”

“And then I got to name the dragon babies! I named the one with blue wings Blueberry. And the one with red wings Cherry. And the one with green wings Kiwi.”

A tiny yawn escaped her at the end, and her eyes were getting a bit droopy. Peter started to gently rub his hand over her back.

“Those are excellent names. Was that how the dream ended?”

She shook her head and then softly laid it down on her brother’s chest, trying to smother another yawn with little success.

“No. We played a lot with Blueberry,.. and Cherry, and Kiwi… and then… Daddy built them… a really big… and nice.. dragon cave… and then we had… a sleepover…”

A quick look down revealed that Morgan had fallen back asleep, and Peter carefully, so as not to jostle her, pulled the blanket a little higher, so that they covered her shoulders. He leaned down a little to press a soft kiss to the crown of her hair. 

“Sleep tight, little dragon.”

Then he too closed his eyes and went back to hopefully catch a few more hours of sleep.


End file.
